Author Archives: Jane

Goodbye to Summer

Posted on by under Life

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA It’s the official end of summer this week. As we slip from February into March, we leave behind long summer evenings, endless meals of salad, sun dresses and trips to the beach. The air has a definite autumn tinge to it now, and I’m getting used to the idea of soon being cold, probably getting a cold, and not eating cold things because it’s too cold to fancy them.

March means a bit more than this though. March is a completely crazy time in Adelaide. We have the Clipsal 500 motor racing this weekend. This entails a whole portion of the city centre being shut down, so cars can race around the streets in a mad frenzy. Traffic is gridlocked throughout the remaining roads, the noise of the race can be heard for miles – like a swarm of bees in an endless loop – and we have big fighter jets flying over our house when the race starts. There are also lots of fat men in ‘Team Holden’ shirts wandering around the city, drinking beer.

Side-by-side with the rev heads is the artistic side of our city. We have the Adelaide Fringe Festival, which means a lot of alternative performers are in town (= circus people, people who are not afraid of heights, and magicians). We have the Adelaide Festival (deep and meaningful theatre and operatic performances, which are really boring, long and super expensive). We have Writers Week, where people get to sit around under trees in a park, listening to authors talk about their books (but not me yet. Still an unknown on the local scene as I am only published overseas. Oh yeah, and I’m not famous). And last, but not least, we have Womadelaide. This is an international music festival held in a big park, so there is a lot of batik clothing, scruffy sandals and vegan/vegetarian food around. Three weeks from now, it will all be over, and the city will be just quiet, little old Adelaide for another year.

So Jane, are you out every night, being entertained, I hear you ask? Well, no. And there are reasons. Firstly, I’ve finished my latest novel, and have sent it off to the publisher. I’m too nervous to be around other writers at the moment, so that’s the Writer’s Week out of the way. Secondly, I am learning aerial hoop (that’s not me in the above picture, still not quite that thin, but that’s a hoop), so I don’t need to go to the Fringe Festival to see other people doing stuff much better than me. As for the Adelaide Festival, well, you’d have to pay me to go and see anything in that Festival, and I hate public loos, so Womadelaide is out of the question. Lastly, I can hear the Clipsal 500 from my house, and I can see it on TV, so I don’t need to venture out to that either.

We shall see what March/autumn brings our way. Next blog post, I shall share some autumn recipes, because frankly, I’m done with the summer stuff. Until then, enjoy the change of seasons, wherever you are in the world.

Summer in the City

Posted on by under Life, Uncategorized

photo-90 A big truck rolled up outside my house today. I was inside, doing housework on a 43 degree day (110F). At first, I thought ‘oh my Lord, my muse has got me a smart car for Valentine’s Day!!’ In fact, it was a new neighbour moving in next door and this was the truck with all his stuff in it.

photo-89Things got a bit hairy when I realised they were trying to back down the lane beside my house. Please note, that’s my car they are just about squashing!! I went out into the street, dressed in a completely inappropriate outfit (pole dancing shorts with not enough fake tan on my legs to go anywhere in this getup), only to find out that my new neighbour is a really nice guy, who works as a nurse too (although I’m not sure if he is a writer as well). I think they put a big scratch on my car, but I can’t prove it…

‘What’s the point of this post Jane?’ I hear you saying. Well, there isn’t any point to the above story. However, here are my top five fabulous features of a heatwave! Cos I can’t listen to anymore whinging about the heat, including my own voice banging on in my head. Here’s a photo of me wearing a jumper, which makes me nostalgic… Although one of my ferrets caught their nail in this said cardi, and it ended up in the rubbish bin.

photo-87I’m trying to return to my zen zone, instead of ‘my body is about to spontaneously combust and I’m ready to kill you’ zone.

TOP FIVE FAB THINGS ABOUT A HEATWAVE!

1) You can wash ANYTHING in this heat, and it will dry. I could drag my king sized mattress out onto a plastic mat on the back lawn, spray the whole thing with water, drench it in sheep dip, and leave it to dry. It would be done in an hour.

2) You can ditch the diet. During a heatwave, no one has the strength for discipline. Lemonade, chilled beer, red wine, chips and anything else your body fancies are allowed. After all, losing all that sweat is bound to create some sort of electrolyte imbalance. The same excuse can be used to ditch your exercise routine.

3) If you get grumpy, you can blame it on the heat. I like to stand over the hot stove, with a face like a beetroot, yelling things at the TV, that normally I couldn’t get away with. My muse knows to leave well alone.

4) You are stuck inside all day. Even going out to the washing line for five minutes can result in heatstroke (but the washing is dry in 20 minutes), so there is no excuse not to get on with all those creative projects you would normally do in winter.

5) You can throw all your dishes into the cupboard dripping with water, because they will dry themselves in about 30 seconds. In fact, you can stand under the shower fully dressed and soak all your clothes, then go for a stroll up the road to the shops. You will be dry by the time you get there!

So there we have it. Time for bed, and if I wake up baked in my own sweat at 2am, at least I have the Winter Olympics to cool me down!

Goodbye to the Snake and hello to the Horse!

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photo-86It’s Chinese New Year tomorrow, with the Year of the Snake on the way out. I think a lot of people found the Year of the Snake difficult. This coming year is the Year of the Wooden Horse, so here’s hoping this coming year will be a bit easier.

In honour of the Chinese New Year, I’m posting a recipe for a Chinese Chicken Hotpot. I make it in a slow cooker, but you could make it in a big pot on the stove, if you cooked it slowly. I’ve made the following recipe a few times and it was an instant favourite with my muse. It’s excellent to make in a heatwave, because when it feels like the gates of hell have opened above your city, then you don’t want to be cranking up the oven.

So here we go. The recipe is a big vague, because I have found that I like to adjust it to my taste. The ingredients are quite easy to find. I’ve pictured them above, so you know what you are looking for. Yummy!!

CHINESE CHICKEN HOT POT

1.8kg whole chicken (or thereabouts)

500mls of chicken stock

Approximately 1/2 cup of Chinese cooking wine

1/2 cup of soya sauce

1/2 cup of oyster sauce

1/4 cup of brown sugar (or to taste. I don’t like it too sweet)

As many cloves of garlic as you like (I use about six)

6cm piece of ginger, peeled and thinly sliced into matchsticks

3 star anise

1 teaspoon of Chinese five spice powder

2 long red chillies, cut into pieces (I use about ten because I love chillies, and I use the super hot small chillies)

Chinese greens (ie. bok choy) I also put spring onions and coriander in the broth, and sometimes shitake mushrooms

Noodles (I use thin rice noodles)

photo-85

Method: Wash the chicken and place it in the slow cooker along with the star anise, ginger and garlic cloves and dried shitake mushrooms if you are using them. In a big jug, mix together the liquid ingredients and the sugar and Chinese five spice powder. Have a taste and see if you want to adjust anything. The cooking wine is strong in taste, and a bit unusual, but it is lovely when heated. Remember that the broth will be flavoured by the chicken bones in the chicken too. Pour the liquid over the chicken, and cook on low for eight hours. I turn the chicken half way through, and top up with water if needed.

photo-84

When the chicken is cooked, take it out of the broth and put to one side. When it has cooled enough, pull the meat from the bones and discard the carcass. Strain the broth into a big saucepan. I fish out the garlic cloves and shitake mushrooms from the seive, and put them back into the liquid. Cut up your vegies, and put them into the broth, letting them cook. Meanwhile, cook your noodles, and drain.

To assemble, put noodles in the bottom of a big soup bowl. Put the chicken in, then spoon over the vegies and broth, adding the chillies. I meant to take a photo of the finished dish, but forgot because I was so hungry. It was delicious!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

The Heat Is On

Posted on by under Life

photo 2-2 And I’m not talking about Sandra Bullock’s movie being on TV at the moment. No, I’m indulging in one of my favourite pastimes, whinging about the weather. In fact, it’s a bit of a national pastime so I don’t feel bad, especially as it is Australia Day today! Yeah, so let’s whinge.

Okay, when it’s winter I whinge about it being too cold and promise I will NEVER complain about the summer again. Our winters are cold, dreary, but generally we never have anything too scary to deal with (like a polar vortex for example). But when summer hits, we invariably have hideous heatwaves that turn everyone into cranky, red-faced maniacs who can’t drive straight anymore, and you end up ditching the diet because you drink your entire body weight in beer.

Our last heatwave earned my city the endearing title of being the hottest city on the planet that day! And that was the day of ‘the big drama’ in our house. Wow, what happened Jane, I hear you say. Well, my beloved muse managed to get locked in our loo. We have a little cubbyhole of a toilet, and it gets damn hot in there because it is so small. It was probably 115F on this particular day. The door handle broke, and my poor baby was banging on the door, asking me to help him escape. If I hadn’t been home, he would have been stuck in there for hours, which would have meant him having to drink the loo water. As some of you know, I have a bit of a loo phobia, and that might have signaled the need for some serious therapy sessions…

Anyway, I found a screwdriver, and expertly dismantled the door handle, saving my muse from the heat, and the need to drink out of the loo. He was suitably impressed with my efforts, and I spent the rest of the night reminding him how I had saved him from frying in the toilet.

We now have a toilet door that can’t be closed (which is not very romantic or elegant).

We are heading into another heatwave tomorrow, so later in the week, as I lurk inside, I will post a fabulous Chinese chicken recipe which can be made in the slow cooker, so your kitchen doesn’t turn into a mini extension of hell.

It’s Chinese New Year too next week. Stay tuned…

 

Lessons Learnt

Posted on by under Food, Uncategorized

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOkay, this photo is pretty radical. Clearly I am not in IKEA buying my dream bookcase.

“What’s happening Jane?” I hear you say. “Are you performing a tracheotomy in a restaurant on a dying person, has someone thrown up on you, or are you in pain from being shot in a hold up?” Well, it’s none of the above. It’s me in a Bali toilet (it’s a selfie!) God, I hate public toilets. It’s what puts me off traveling overseas. If I was one of those blessed creatures who don’t care about what goes on around them, then I would have been to Bhutan and back, several times. But I hate it. I hate plane toilets. I hate all toilets that are not my own. I have nightmares about going to the loo in public places.

So, what does this have to do about my blog? Nothing really. It’s 10pm and I’ve just scratched some chilli in my eye by mistake (where did that come from??), I have a 5am wake up call for a nursing shift a the hospital which may, or may not be available (ahhhh, the joys of being a casual worker), and I’m in the middle of editing my new book, which I am having a mini meltdown over (it’s crap. I am crap. My writing is crap.) So perhaps that’s why I posted a photo of me looking at some crap in a loo.

On a brighter note, here is a fabulous way to restore confidence in all areas of life, when one is doubting oneself (that might be the lesson learnt, because the title implies something wise and deep, which is not really going to happen!)

SKIN POLISH

Okay, so forget about spending loads of money on skin exfoliation products. Just grab some castor sugar, pour it into a bowl, and add a good dash of a body lotion. I find sorbalene works wonderfully for this. Now hop in the shower, and rub it all over your body. Rinse off, et voila! A polished skin. You won’t be disappointed. (Public health warning: obviously, don’t rub so hard your skin comes off and don’t rub it on your face).

 

It was the night before Christmas…

Posted on by under Food, Life, Uncategorized

photo-76The day before Christmas…

Today is the equivalent of going on a complicated overseas holiday, to a destination you are not entirely sure how you should pack for. You get to the immigration gate and you can no longer pack another pair of knickers, or some more sunblock. All the shops are closed, and suddenly it’s too late to post anymore Christmas cards, or buy anymore gifts.

That’s how I feel about Christmas. As for the food situation, I blame all the stupid Christmas specials they put on TV in Australia for the mess in my fridge.

Jamie Oliver, Nigella Lawson (OMG, what a year she’s had. Love her to bits), Gordon Ramsay and Rick Stein. I’m so confused… We don’t have snow in summer, so why are we roasting a chicken tomorrow, and boiling a pudding in a big pot on the stove?

Well Jane, I hear you say, what’s so hard about that? What’s so bloody hard is that we just went through two days of the hottest temperatures in December ever on record – 43C degrees (110F). Sitting inside a house about to burst into flames from the sheer heat outside, while watching Jamie Oliver cooking in the snow (and everyone else mentioned above), is just wrong. I feel like I should be bounding out my front door, to carol singers, snow, and a hundred things roasting in the oven, while surrounded by loving family members, who never make you so angry you could murder them. Instead, we should all be at the beach, bounding out of the surf in our bikinis (another fantasy which won’t be happening,) drinking martinis and eating prawns with salad.

However, a gal and her Muse can make the best of any situation and we have a lovely Christmas day planned, with some friends, food which won’t need hours in the oven, and some bubbles in a glass (we can’t call it champagne anymore – Australian sparkling!)

On that note, I’m going to give the recipe for a lovely Christmas Day.

1. Forget your diet

2. Drink some nice bubbles

3. Hide when the cleaning up needs to be done

4. Listen to some Celine Dion

Have a great Christmas, and remember… the mince pies, Christmas pudding and brandy cream will all be gone for another year, this time next week, so enjoy.

xxx

 

Tribal Wives and Husbands

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASo, I was watching Tribal Wives this evening, after making dinner for my Muse. For anyone who hasn’t seen this fab show, it involves plonking women from England, into a tribal setting in places like Africa, to see how they fare. They usually have a nervous breakdown.

I said “I think I should go on this show.” (Even though I’m an Australian, which makes us pretty tribal at the best of times).

“Why?” he asks.

“Because I’m in my forties, I don’t have children, I have issues with my mother, and I would probably cry a lot.” That makes good viewing for this particular show.

“They would send you home the next day. You are too neurotic, and you can’t stand the heat.”

I start thinking about my Muse. “Well, if they had a show for Tribal Husbands, they would send you home the next day, because you don’t do anything. They don’t have computers and sports channels in the tribes. You would be considered useless.”

After ten minutes of me laughing so hard I cried, my Muse stormed off to do the dinner dishes. But seriously. Let’s just get down to business and post a great recipe for the heat, which should descend on us any day now, considering it is summer in Australia. Having said that, it was 32 degrees today, and tomorrow it’s going to be 20 degrees. What the???? And by the way, that photo is of me, in 40 degrees of heat at 9pm on New Year’s Eve at a party, in a hotel where the air conditioning failed. I’m just saying, when it comes to survival in the tribe, I was the last one standing…

Gin and Tonic

Take a really big glass out of the cupboard and put it in the deep freeze.

Put your gin bottle in the deep freeze

Make sure there are ice cubes in the deep freeze

Lemon

Tonic (in the fridge)

Method:  Place four ice cubes in your chilled glass. Pour yourself a sturdy measure of gin into said glass and top up the glass with tonic. Garnish with lemon.

Public Health Disclaimer: Don’t do this at breakfast. This is a strictly over the yard-arm drink.

 

It’s all in the timing…

Posted on by under Food, Life

Her Sister's Wedding Large I was over the moon to see my second book appear as an e-book this week. The lovely ladies at Decadent Publications have done an amazing job, so please check out their website (yes, there is decadence and sweet romance there) at http://www.decadentpublishing.com/. There is some naughty and some nice stuff in there, but they are awesome. If you are thinking of getting a romance e-book published, check them out. They are going to be big.

So I was thinking about this book, and the fact I wrote it three years ago. Sometimes things take a long while to come to fruition. Lots of pieces have to fall into place. If there is one thing I have learnt in the last few years, it’s this: it’s all about the timing. People always talk about you getting your chance. I think you do. I think you have to realise when that chance is sitting in front of you, and then you have to take it. Don’t muck around, don’t make excuses. Go for it. The worst that can happen, is that you fail. Then you can go through your life with your head held high, saying “I gave it my best go.” There could be nothing worse than wanting to try, getting your chance then not grabbing it. So, in honour of fate, the powers that be, and that chance that comes your way, begging for you to say ‘yes’:

LET’S GO OUT TO THE BEST COCKTAIL BAR IN TOWN, THEN ON TO OUR FAVOURITE RESTAURANT!!

Barring that, cook yourself your favourite meal, hold your head high, and just remember; Celine Dion started her singing career on her kitchen table. xxx

It’s starting to look a lot like Christmas!

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imageIt’s December 2nd, which in Australia mean a few important things in my world.

1) I am going to have to wear shorts, tee shirts and a bathing suit in the next few weeks as it is getting super hot.

2) Christmas mince pies are on sale in the supermarkets. They are friggin delicious, and will only be around for another month, so I’m giving myself the excuse to go for it, bearing in mind I have to get into shorts, tee shirts and a bathing suit.

3)  The Christmas tree is up, and fully decorated (it’s been up for a month, in fact).

Having said that about my Christmas tree, I feel like every year, Christmas pounces on me out of nowhere. Already, it is impossible to find a park at shopping malls, as they are filled with stampeding people from 9am onwards. People get so stressed before Christmas, and then from Christmas to the New Year, it’s like a ghost town.

At Christmas, I hardly have any family around (in fact I have no family apart from my muse and the ferrets this year), and I have no permanent job, being a writer and a casual nurse. So that cuts out two very important aspects of the lead up to Christmas: family meltdowns and the office Christmas party.

All that aside it’s a magical time of year, and to celebrate the magic I’m going to share an easy to make, tasty and nutritious soup that will get you through any mad herd of crazed shoppers, any family meltdown, and any hangover if you disgrace yourself at the office Christmas party.

It’s also vegan (if you make it with vegetable stock,), gluten free and just about every other label you can stick on a food that sounds good.

EASY CHRISTMAS SURVIVAL SOUP

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

2 cups chopped onions

2 cups chopped carrots

1-1/2 cups of dried yellow split peas

6 cups of chicken or vegetable stock

Method: In a big saucepan, heat up the olive oil, then add the onion and chopped carrot, and cook for about eight minutes until softened. Chuck in the lentils with the stock, bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for about forty minutes, stirring occasionally, until the lentils go soft and start to break up. Puree with a blender, adding a bit more water if it is too thick in consistency, then add salt and black pepper to taste. Yum!

An Epic Leap Forward

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photo-66 I think there are moments in your life, which equate with giant leaps forward in your personal development, and vision of who you can be. I had such a moment today, in IKEA. I recently got an iPhone. Wow, I hear you say, how cool! I had a really strange phone for the last two years that no one could show me how to work. I don’t know why I got it – I think at the time I liked it’s cute little keyboard thingie, which broke after six months. I digress. So I’m in IKEA, and my muse rings me on Facetime. He’s discovered this little item on his iPhone, so there I am, sprung at IKEA, instead of home cleaning (today is cleaning day).

And by the way, can I say there are three things in life you should never let slip. Your weight, your fitness levels and your housework. The amount of time it takes to get back to normal levels, if you let any of these slide, is appalling.

Back to IKEA. I showed him a little bookcase I had my eye on, for my writing room. After he had showed me the factory he was visiting, we hung up. This is where it gets exciting/dangerous. I realised I could get on the internet, as I sat on a display chair in the bookcase department. I kind of wish my first internet experience on my phone (eva) had been something to do with Celine, but it wasn’t. I transferred some money so I could buy the damn bookcase. What a day!!

I feel like I’m living in Star Trek episode.

We watched Casino Royale last night on DVD. Gosh, could you be any cooler Jane, I hear you thinking. The reason I mention this, is that the movie heavily favours my favourite drink; a Vesper Martini. Daniel Craig isn’t too bad either. So, to celebrate my arrival into the world of the internet via the iPhone, here is the recipe for a Vesper. Yum (and drink in moderation. Don’t have six in one sitting like he does in Quantum of Solace, or you will end up being sick in the loo. I’m just saying).

VESPER MARTINI

  • 3 measures of Gordon’s Gin
  • 1 measure of vodka
  • 1/2 measure Kina Lillet
  • lemon peel for garnish

Preparation:

The Vesper according to Ian Fleming and James Bond: “Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?”