If this year has taught me nothing else so far, it’s that kombucha tea does not give you super powers, and that the whole superfoods movement is a load of wilted kale. My kombucha tea scoby is now in the compost, and yesterday I discovered that my organically grown kale plants were being destroyed by caterpillars. After picking about 40 of the little bastards off my ravished plants, I realised the only thing left for it, was to uproot the whole lot and be done with the kale phase of my life.
I felt too guilty to just bin it in the compost, so I took a deep breath and spent the next hour trying to wash all the caterpillars out of the curly kale leaves.
Finally, facing a mountain of clean kale, I got out my trusty NutriBullet and pulverised the lot, before pouring the extremely bright green liquid into ice cube trays. I now have about 60 kale cubes ready for green smoothies. They are pretty smelly, but I think it will work. Either that or they will be thrown in the bin in due course.
So, that’s it so far for organic gardening and fermented super foods. I think my next task will be to find an exercise class I enjoy. Anyone for yoga?
I’ve got a feeling fermented foods are going to be the next craze in our fad-obsessed diet culture. But that’s a good thing, because 70% of our immune system exists in out gut, and fermented foods are excellent for improving gut health.
So, enter kombucha tea; a fermented substance that looks something like an alien poo, floating in a sea of urine (that’s the nurse in me coming out – sorry). It’s a pretty scary looking brew, however you view it.
I came across it at a health fair, where I spoke to a herbalist who sold me a bottle of the tea. There was a tiny wisp of the alien poo thing (called a scoby), floating in the cold brew. After a bit of internet searching, I decided to try and produce my own tea, by growing the scoby, with the hope that I wasn’t going to poison myself to death in the process. The top picture shows how big the initial scoby was, and the bottom photo is what it looks like at the moment. So far, both myself and my muse are still alive. The finished product tastes much better than it looks, that is if you like things that taste like a cross between vinegar and sweet tea. The floating poo thingie sits in a brew of cold, sugary tea, and turns it into fermented kombucha tea, which you drink morning and night (just a tiny cup full at this stage.)
I’m not even going to attempt to advise on how to cultivate this stuff, as I’m still on a learning curve, but if you are interested, then it’s certainly a journey into quite strange food territory. And it’s something you can use to frighten unwanted guests away!
I’ll let you know how it goes…