Lost and Found Part 2

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In the last couple of weeks I’ve been looking at my life, trying to figure out where I want to head now I’m in my 50s, why I am chubby, and why I wear the same jewellery and clothes all the time. It was not as scary as I thought it would be, to admit I’m in a rut, and I want to do something about it. I think the hardest part of making any change is taking that first look in the mirror, and admitting to yourself that you’re not where you want to be.

It’s going to take me a while to figure out where I want to go now in life. My advice is take it really slowly, if you too are in the same boat. You have to feel your way into the new, and if you rush head long into it, you’ll probably end up going arse over tit. No one wants to see that version of you.

So, the first thing I did was weigh myself (ugh!), start a food diary and cut back on the crap (yes, that does include meat pies for lunch and entire tins of condensed milk). Next, I went to my hairdresser, and for the first time in twenty years, came out with a fringe and a bit of a new look, which I’m liking. After all, it’s only hair and it will grow, but at least now I look different from my lost self. Then I took out all my jewellery, and had a really good look at things I’ve owned for years, but simply haven’t been wearing. I’ve got no idea why I’ve let my jewellery languish the way I have, but after polishing off some gorgeous earrings I’d forgotten I owned, I was out the door feeling excited about broadening my horizons.

Lastly, I’m going through my clothes tomorrow. Anything that I feel bad in, when I try it on, is going to charity (or the ferret bedding box). I’m not waiting to get thinner either. I just want to feel good about my clothes, rather than wearing things because they fit and don’t need to be ironed.

Then I’m off on my four day retreat by myself. I hope I don’t end up mooching around feeling lonely, but if I do, then that’s okay too. Since taking these steps, I feel like a small crack has opened up in my world, letting slivers of the new in. It’s really exciting. Nearly as exciting as trying to tame the cowlick I’d forgotten I have, in my fringe each morning.

My advice if you are feeling stuck, is start making little changes every day. Wear those earrings you’d forgotten you own, try a new drink in a new bar when you go out, and don’t be scared to take small steps in a new direction. It’s exciting. Like a journey without a real road map. Who know where you’ll end up!!

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